The True Before and After

The road to closure continues as I gaze into the backyard. I could stare out of the back door and envision different layouts and garden beds. When renting a place, one always thinks about the investment. Do I really want to put so much effort into a place that I will be leaving? Well, I choice to invest. In small ways perhaps, nothing remotely close to all that I could envision. However, it is nice to look at the small of amount of effort and see big results. From uncovering brick, to making a flower bed, to killing weeds (and yes I did receive a citation warning from the city at one point because my weeds were too tall), the fruits of my labor are visible. Thanks to photos along the way, I can see how it was when my time here began and compare it with how it is now. And in that comparison, I smile.

Keeps You Guessing

Job searching is never fun. I sometimes wonder if emails that I send out for jobs get sent to a thanks-for-investing-all-that-work-and-energy-but-you-won't-get-a-response black hole. Then there are other situations and job application experiences that keep you guessing. That was the case for a recent job I applied to. Here is how it all played out...

Monday, June 8th: Emailed my application for a Program Guide position with a wilderness therapy program in Hawaii.

Monday, June 8th: Received an email in reply asking to set up an interview.

Wednesday, June 10th: First interview scheduled via Skype for June, 17th at 1:00pm.

Wednesday,  June 17th, 12:50pm: After asking to use a vacant office at the hospital so I can rest in the idea that I won't have any interruptions during my interview (still no wi-fi at home), I decide to check my email just in case.

See an email that reads: "...I am about to board on a plane....can we please reschedule for same time on Friday?..."

Friday, June 19th, 12:50pm: All set up in boss's office on my lunch break with the top half dressed for a Skype interview. Decide to check email once again just in case.

See an email that reads: "Please call me when you are available at the number in my signature."

12:57pm: Call number.

1:15pm: Interview complete.

6:17pm: Check email at Library. Read: "We just had an opening for the July 15th New Guide Training. What are your thoughts on trying to make this training?"

Ask myself: Does this mean I have the job???

Saturday, June 20th: replied with the following message:

"Although part of me wants to turn things around that fast (plus I totally understand the situation you are in), I have come to the conclusion that the July 15th start date wouldn't be the best idea for me. The greenhouse is open until the 4th, which doesn't give me much time to prepare things logistically and decompress from the intense past couple of months. If you would have asked me that question 10 years ago, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. I can do things in record time in a bind; however, I think the Heather of today is going to have to trump the Heather of yester-year and say that the August start date would be the wise choice."

Sunday, June 21st: Placed on August training waiting list

Tuesday, June 23rd: Offered employment for the August 19th start date.

Today, Friday, June 26th: Officially accepted the offer. August 19th.

Ask myself: Did I just accept a job in Hawaii?

Yes. Yes. I did.

Parting Gift

Leaving well is always the main objective when I move on from a place. I have come to realize the vast importance of closure. Although others that are staying behind might not know or articulate it, I believe they need closure just as much. So I take it upon myself to be the one to initiate it.

In the past my closure has come in different forms like a card or a note. As of lately my trend has been a gift that I craft that has meaning or significance.

Time started ticking away pretty quickly before I was inspired for this project. I am, too, a very big fan of using what I have. This gift, however, went a step further. Not only did I use what I already have, but the items that I used came from the location that is being represented in the gift.

Let me explain:

The gift I constructed was for each of my co-workers at Frey's Greenhouse. The purple flower is a replica of the logo for Frey's. The different colored foil used to make the logo came from the scrap pieces of foil we used to wrap pots. The soil in the flower pot is from a paper bag that we are all to familiar with as we cut down bags day after day so plants aren't crushed by the tall sides of the bag.

Then I realized by putting the logo on a piece of tile and covering it with a waterproof finish the recipient has a list of choices how to use it: add it as a decoration to their own garden or as a coaster on their coffee table. The choice is theirs, but however they choose to use it, my hope is that when they see it they will be reminded of all of the great memories I have of working with each of them. I know when I look at mine, my mind is flooded with so many great memories that I am soon overflowing with gratitude. Giving something such as this is the least that I could do. Closure may have been the motive but in essence I want to move on from this place feeling like the people that have impacted my life know that each one them is truly appreciated.

Mother-Daughter Event Marathon

June 11-15, 2015

 When any family member is willing to drive over 300 miles to come for a visit, I find it of the upmost importance that they get a full, rich experience with a good balance between experiencing the local area and rest and relaxation. My mom's timing could not have been more perfect! The summer is booming with activities and things for people to do.

Confession: As I am fully aware that I am leaving Pennsylvania I might have been slightly more motivated then normal to get out and seek new experiences that are hard to find elsewhere.

Our first stop: Longwood Gardens.

This 1,077-plus acre property consists of 20 outdoor gardens and 20 indoor gardens within the walls of its conservatories. Longwood's main conservatory is one of the world's greatest greenhouse structures (according to wikipedia). The conservatory alone is home to 5,500 types of plants including some amazing century old Bonsai Trees! The conservatory also has some wonderful nooks around every corner, a great area for little garden explores, and the most living-lavish hall of bathrooms that I have ever seen!

Of course out of all of the things that we saw and smelt, the one thing that we kept talking about after we left the conservatory was not the full grown trees or the fountains. Instead we marveled at the one thing you would never think to find at a garden: an amazing pipe organ!

The Longwood Organ is a 10,010 pipe instrument designed by Longwood organist-in-residence Firmin Swinnen, a Belgian musician who moved to the US in 1916 and became a prominent theater organist in New York City. The organ's pipes filled fourteen railway freight cars, and they needed a 72 horsepower blower motor to supply the wind pressure; the instrument was one of the largest pipe organs installed in a private residence. Pierre du Pont knew what he wanted and went for it. Mom and I were just touring the conservatory when we first heard it played. We followed the sound which led us to the ballroom. The coolest part is that its pipes can be seen from the rear through glass panels in Longwood's organ museum.

 The gardens outdoors offered great variety with open meadows, fountain displays, and different structures integrated throughout. With the heat beating down on us, places of rest in a nice shady spot where always desired and usually very easy to find.

Three tree houses where also on the property which also made for fun exploring.

Treasure the Moment

Another book layout project is complete. This my first in the memoir category. I am always amazed how these projects turn up and where from they emerge. I often think about how the world has changed in the last 30 years. I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around what those over the age of 80 have seen and experienced in their lifetime: Ration coupons during WWII to digital coupons that can be uploaded to your savings plus card, handwritten letters where personality was expressed through penmanship to text messages that contain phrases abbreviated to three letters or an emoji.

I will freely admit that sometimes I romanticize the way the world used to run. I can imagine doing my hair in pin curls and heading to the local dance club for some amazing live music forgetting that it is probably thick with smoke and my feet are killing me before I even arrive.

Still the stories in this book make me wonder if I missed out on a time when the world seemed to hold more value for the passing moment. It wasn't something that just needed to be moved along. It seems though the moments that pass by are my responsibility to notice. I do have the power to slow my moments down, even when those around me seem to be moving at alarming rates. Thanks Helen Hess for reminding us that "even among the best and the worst of life's experiences, you still find reasons--if you look for them--to Treasure the Moment". I enjoyed the moments spent (well.. most of them) putting a life-long vision of yours into a format that can bless so many generations to come.

Step of Faith: 30 Days Notice

The uncertainty of the future lingers like a thin fog that refuses to dissipate. I have been filling out applications and setting up interviews. One seems to pull the spotlight, then the next moment disappears all together.

Even with all this uncertainty, I have decided to take a huge step of faith. After the greenhouse season ends I have decided it is time to move on. My 30 days notice has been handed in. I will pack the 30% of my belongings that have yet to be packed and load up the new car for its first move. No destination is in place. No job is lined up. Staying just doesn't seem to make sense. The reasons I came no longer exist and life has changed course. Aletheia is heading toward a new phase in life while I seek to find what my next adventure will be.

My time in PA has brought some great adventures, new experiences, and many wonderful people.

As July 1st approaches, I look forward to the closure process as I search for the launch pad of a new beginning. With two addresses, three jobs, and a truck full of new skills and experiences my life has only been enriched during the past two years.

I raise my water bottle to the unknown, beyond July 1st. May the days outside of this house...this place... find new depths of happiness, joy and comfort as I will my feet to step into uncharted territory. Cheers.

The Unfamiliar Familiar

 A journey down a familiar path

Yet how unfamiliar the familiar can be

  In each passing day new colors appear

As the colors of yesterday fade away

 The setting sun's spotlight shines on the smallest members

While illuminating the blended shades of the company as a whole

Springing forth a fresh sense of wonder within me

Ready for Mother's Day

Inside the "Geranium House"

The warmer weather seems to be holding fast as the busiest Saturday of the year approaches: the Saturday before Mother's Day. Sometimes I feel like we have been preparing for this day all season. Tasks focus more and more on deadheading and trimming and shaping making everything look its best. Annually, Mother's Day seems to mark the last weekend before the almanac's last frost date. May's uncertainty always brings some risk for planters. I hope the frost stays at bay for all of those dedicated flower and vegetable garden enthusiasts who have been itching to make their gardens a magical place.

Ashley watering the blooming azaleas

Wisteria blooming on the pergola 

Reflections Part 2: Be Messy Journal

The Be Messy Journal has once again reached outside the pages. I decided to venture out to my favorite nature trail around Stover's Dam to focus on some of the nature assignments in the journal. With 4 different colored crayons and a charcoal pencil, my mission was to get at least 4 rubbings of different kinds of tree bark.

I started walking the loop trail with eyes open to seeing any interesting treebank texture and patterns. One caught my eye so I place the age of my journal on top of the tree bark and started ,y rubbing. As I was finishing, a man walking his dog approached me and asked, "Hey, what are you doing?" So I explained what I was doing and we chatted a little. He asked me why and I briefly explained. "oh interesting," was the parting phrase as we both continued walking in our original directions.

I stopped a few more times before reaching the other side of the lake. As the trail is a circuit it isn't uncommon to pass some of the same people twice walking in the opposite direction. I rounded a curve and once again I saw he man and his dog. As we passed each other he left me know that "there is a really great tree coming up on the left" and that I "should check out its bark." Surprised, I smiled and thanked him as we both continued on our way.

As I finished my hike, I was so integued by the encounter. As a lover of trees and nature in general I found it so fascinating how by stopping and taking notice I caused someone else to do the same; to look at the land around them with a new pair of eyes...even for just one lap. Thanks BMJ.

Unplugged: A House With No Connection

I wrote this in an email to a friend at the beginning of the month:

"This past month has been quite the month as I decided to move out of my house by April 1st as that was the same time frame my roommate was moving out. Through a series of events I ended up not having to leave as my Landlords cut me a deal 9 days before moving day. So now I live in a huge house all my myself where I have 70% of my stuff all packed and sitting in the living room. My life cracks me up. I am also living a life without internet in the house. This has been a very interesting challenge and experiment. More refections on that as the month rolls by...."

Now, it is the last day of the month, and I have discovered that having no internet connection at home has begun this surprising journey of focus and freedom. At first I found the ties of not having the immediate answer at my finger tips to be frustrating and stressful. So many questions would pop into my head or points of curiosity that I wanted to find out more information about. Sure I could phone a friend to find out the answer, but at the same time I want people to remain my friends. As this first week rolled on I learned to realize that the only other option, besides getting into my car and heading to McDonalds because no other place with free wifi was open, was to let go. The information I needed or the desire to know something was just going to have to wait. There was truly nothing I could do about it. 

So by the end of the first week I did the only thing I could think of to bring peace of mind. Thus began the "When I have Internet Access" list. To my surprise this was the open door to the feeling of freedom. It was almost too simple: write it down and move on. No need to wrestle with my lack of information or beat myself up for not thinking of it sooner. I could make note of what was on my mind to do or the spontaneous question that floated to the forefront of my mind and then accept that things would happen when they would happen and the answers would be discovered when I needed to know them. 

This leads me now to my current phase: Extreme Focus. Now when I sit down in front of my connected computer I enter a whole different state of consciousness. My only barriers are technology and time. At the library, the time factor is very literal. The timer shows the passing moments on the bottom right-hand corner of the screen: 59:58...59:57.... If I am not using one of the library computers my time often can be even less as I stroll in after a long day at the greenhouse and only have 30 minutes until the library closes. Facebook's escalating distracting qualities are just not an option. So many other things have jumped to the top of the priority list: writing and responding to emails and researching jobs. Then, with whatever time I have left, I attended to my laundry list of items on my "When I have Internet Access" list that were noted in the meantime or hadn't been attended to yet. 

I am often floored by productivity. If the computer moved as fast as my brain, I truly could conquer the world. 

In normal reality moments, I find myself smiling as I recall and once again put to practice the way the world used to function. I have rekindled my appreciation for the local phone book for it is a true well of information. If I need to know where an area code is from when I receive an unfamiliar hone number, I consult the nationwide area code map in the front of the phone book. When I am baking, I can consult the conversion chart. 

My time connecting to the internet has taken on its own flow and rhythm. You better believe I know all of the local places that have free wi-fi and naturally have another list showing all of their business hours. Who wouldn't? The greatest setback to not having internet at home is skyping. Having a sister and brother-in-law and 2 fabulous nieces and a wonderful nephew Skype is my go-to for connection with them and to look through a special window into their world. Now Skype dates have to be made in advance and I have to be that girl: the one sitting in a hospital lobby talking to her computer. Fortunately, the Lebanon hospital lobby isn't hopping. Still, every now and again I will get some interesting looks. But this is the life I have chosen to lead for this moment at this time in this stage. I have a feeling that as the job search process becomes more and more serious other lessons and moments of create problem solving will arise. Until that time, I will continue to ride this wave of freedom and focus and let myself lean into a deeper trust. 

Broken Pots Have a Place

Like any retail establishment, some shipments arrive with a few damaged items. Flower pots fall deep into that category and all those broken and damaged items have been piling up over the years. This year, the creative genius that oozes out of one of my co-workers decided to use some of those pieces in her annual fairy garden. I just love, love the detail she put into this project: the bridge, the volleyball court, the basketball hoop, fences, and other great nooks. I am once again very glad that I got to see it and appreciate it from the beginning, for as I went and looked at it again today things look a lot different! We will see what the next few weeks will bring!!

Oh and a fun fact - I was able to contribute some broken ceramic to this collection. As I was helping Aletheia back the truck, I set a lamp down on a table sitting outside. A gust of wind came and knocked the lamp of and shattered the beautiful metallic golden base. Those pieces now give great texture and shine to the space around the volleyball court. Redemption to my carelessness.

    April 2nd

    April 6th

    Today

Winter's Loosening Grip

  

I sometimes feel like I have a sneak preview on Spring. A greenhouse is all about making a plant think it is safe for it to grow and thrive with warmer temperatures and consistent care. The world outside still waits for its moment. On my stroll through Stover's Dam today, the brave ones started to poke their heads through - breaking through winter's loosening grip, reminding me that the amazing moments of Spring always begin at just the right time. 

Plant Them and They Will Grow

Frey's Greenhouse, Lebanon, PA

The time has finally come to see the fruits of all of our labor last month! The sea of color is starting to emerge as Bellis, Primroses, Violas, and Pansies fill the tables. Round two of plants is already in full swing. I look forward to seeing all of the changes that each day brings.

Lancaster Greenhouse

Lancaster Ready for Customers

Coming Full Circle at Mel's Diner

51 weeks ago today Aletheia and I moved to downtown Lebanon. After an exhausting move, we lunched here, at Mel's Diner, a local favorite. 

2 1/2 months earlier we had officially launched Space to Spire. After four months of dreaming, talking, planning, and getting all legalized, we were both excited and terrified of having our own business. 

The last 19 months have been full of so much:
--2 moves
--Events in 8 states, offering to churches, schools, individuals and families, universities and seminaries, non-profits, kids and young adult camps, markets, retreat centers
--2 new resources (Visual Prompt Cards, Be Messy Journal)
--Partnering with 3 ConSPIREators
--Meeting so many new and spending time with old friends 

We've been so encouraged by so many of you, offered so much help so often (thanks especially to our lawyer, Mark, our mentors Ken, Steve, Angelique, our amazing house hosts Doreen and Myron, and our families who continue to support us so profoundly). 

So here we are again. At the same restaurant where much of it began.

And the winds of change are once again upon us. Together, we've decided that we won't continue as partners. While Spire isn't going anywhere, it's leadership will change. I will be moving on and Aletheia will be Spire's sole owner. 

Thanks again for journeying alongside of us this past year. We couldn't have done it without you. 

--A and H

Winter Hike

March is one of the more unpredictable months of the year. February has passed and one feels the itch of spring rise within. I feel the need for Spring more than ever; however, there is something so peaceful and truly lovely about a fresh snowfall. It outlines each branch of a tree making you take notice its construction. The normal stroll through Stover's Dam was a bit harder to navigate but it made me appreciate that wonderful place as if seeing it for the first time.