Wrong Turn Payoffs

My off shift thus far has involved the usually medication that I self-prescribe when I need a shot of compassion: Call the Midwife - a fabulous show with strong female characters that demonstrate such passion for what they do. 

I must confess that I watched the entire first and second season. For those that have seen the show know how this is not hard to do. However, too much sitting and not enough doing is also a recipe for disaster for my well being. So when Annie texts me and asks if I want to go to Shipman' s Beach. I immediately reply with a "Yes! ....and where is that exactly?" 

The perfect opening for an adventure that included a 2.5 mile trek and a wrong turn, we found ourselves on a white and black sand beach that isn't on the Kona side of the island! 

Although the beach was lovely and the conversation on the hike very interesting and entertaining (per usual) the wrong turn we took had an added bonus: Macnut samples and very valuable information about the lava flow that is happening. As seeing lava is on the top of my list at this point, that old adventuresome Heather that was taking a nap suddenly woke up. With my birthday just around the corner, I knew exactly what I would be doing during my half-shift break. Thanks Annie for taking a wrong turn. I enjoyed the detour immensely.

Books Read:

Miss Pedegrin's Home for Peculiar Children

The Marvels

Paintings:

The Gift of Giving Gifts

These days, I am seeing a trend in my gift giving. Lately the gifts have been for those that are leaving, and is tradition to my closure practices, I search to find something that I can create that is a connecting point of my experience with that person and the place I interacted with them. For the two co-workers leaving next, their gifts fell right into play.

The challenge comes in those gifts you are expected to give every year. I try my best to take notes during the year. Discovering what people are interested in or finding something that is connected to a memory we share. This year, while my painting hand itching to create something, the medium was not a hard choice. The toughest part was figuring out the subject matter and facing head on the idea that what I see in my head will not be exactly what I will see on paper.

And so this Father’s Day, my gift to my dad was really about me. It was a representation of what he brought into my life. Music. The type of music is a minor detail compared to the deep appreciation he has for it. It is a wonderful, on-going gift that continues to be given. And for that, Dad, I am grateful.

Unsettled

Saturday, June 11, 2016 - King Kamehameha Day

I am not going to lie, my last shift at work just seemed off. I couldn’t find that sweet spot that I usually step right into. I usually know what I need to and where I need to enter and exit. I have mulled it over so many times in my head; analyzing the finer details that made me feel so unsettled. Whether being pulled by those above me or those around me as I found myself in one crisis intervention after another, I never found a moment to just breathe. During the car ride home, I just wanted to escape from everything around me, but how can one do that when wedged between a wall of luggage and a co-worker in the back seat of an SUV? So I endured the ride home with ear-buds in hoping the universal sign of leave-me-be would ring loud and true. It didn’t even matter that I only had two songs on my iPod. My desire to be transported to another time and place was so strong that I gave thanks for the repeat button.

Sunday, June 12, 2016 - Beach Day on Kona side

Usually I find rest in the fabulous thought that while I do work 8 days in a row, I then get to jump into a 6-day vacation. I usually find it very easy to relish in these glorious 6 days. With adult responsibilities and to-do list getting longer and longer, I felt a weight on my shoulders the moment I woke up Friday morning. I needed to get things done but was unable to talk myself into getting started. Pressure looming.

It took until Tuesday morning for some of that pressure to be released.

I find it interesting how the unsettled feeling inside was also reflected somewhat in the adventures, activities and conversations I participated in not to mention the events happening around the country. 

Even now, as I sit and reflect on the past 14 days, I am unsure of what to make of it. I wander from event to event, wondering how all of the pieces are going to shift next, trying to anticipate the next tipping point. I am at a loss of what I need to do – if anything.  It could be just as simple as the fact that I have been working at this job for 10 months now and have taken only 1 shift off. Maybe it is just time for another break. I could too be stuck on the way things used to be, wanting to turn back time before all of the changes that are taking place even began.  Or maybe it isn’t just one thing. We all have bad days. We are human and finding ourselves in a funk every now and again does seem commonplace. However, I find this ache within me questioning.

Monday, June 13, 2016 - White Rd Adventure with Annie

I went on a hike with Annie on Monday. Prior to going, I had heard other people’s tales of their experience on this trail. I patched the bits and pieces together in my brain. Although I had a great time exploring an unfamiliar place, the experience I was having was just not adding up. There had to be something I was missing. Too much of what I was gathering wasn’t fitting in place. I ended the hike with more questions than answers.

Who knows? Maybe at 4pm today, when I receive that ever-anticipated email speaking my next 8-day assignment into being, the unsettled feelings with vanish. At this point I am not really entertaining any other ideas. I will cross those bridges, only when I am 100% sure that they exist.

Continuing to Release

As I continue to release the artistic push I feel inside, I am finding that I am still looking to the next project. I finish one and I move on to the next. I am drawn to ones that tell a story. The more and more I research paintings to study the more and more I am discovering how I am drawn to simplicity. As a person I am very detail oriented and very realistic. I see every color and every line. Although you can be very detailed with watercolor, the medium has a unique characteristic that allows you to use as little paint as possible while still offering great effects. That is what I continue to play with and learn as I am slowly figuring out what I want to say when the time comes. So the study continues…